Tag Archives: sex

A New Theme: Amazons in Action

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A little known fact – I love action movies.  I’m the girl who would rather watch people getting their asses kicked than sit through a romantic comedy. 

The one caveat here is that action films by and large star men in the leading roles and not women.  Of course, we did go through a period in the late 90s and early 21st century where you saw women regularly kicking ass on-screen.  There was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xena, La Femme Nikita, Alias, Tomb Raider, G.I. Jane and if we want to go back further you’ve gotta mention Pam Grier as Foxy Brown and Sigourney Weaver as Ripley.  But where are they now? Angelina Jolie is the only actress mentioned above that still appears in action roles.  One of my favorite quotes from her comes from an interview (and I’m paraphrasing here) where they ask her if she wants to play a Bond girl and she replies, “No, I wanna play Bond.”

Adding insult to injury, we act as if the entertainment industry is doing us a favor by casting women as strong, capable, heroes.  Bruce Willis backs out of Salt and they replace him with Angelina Jolie … how often does that happen? How many of us were impressed that the studio execs made that decision? Well, women in action have always existed.  Women, who were fierce warriors – courageous and honorable fought and died in wars and revolutions throughout history.  Now there’s something you don’t learn about in school!

So, let’s examine the stereotypes and prejudices which encourage us to believe that women can’t hold their own in a physical capacity against men, whether that means sports or combat.  The underlying assumption that we are just at a natural disadvantage leads some to question whether the female action hero is believable.  Why wasn’t Jason Bourne Jane Bourne? What message does that send to little boys and girls? What does it say about men and their role in society? Is their worth solely tied to the belief that women need them to do things that we couldn’t possibly do for ourselves?
****SPECIAL NOTE**** Going forward there will be a new theme every other week instead of every week.  This will give us more time with each theme.  And a great big thanks to all of you who are following this blog!

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Polyamory: Married and Dating (New Series on Showtime)

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Polyamory: Married and Dating (New Series on Showtime)

Showtime‘s new series Polyamory: Married and Dating follows a group of poly people who are married and/or dating.  There is a triad (girl, boy, girl) and a foursome (girl, boy, girl, boy).  The triad is adjusting to one of the girls having a serious boyfriend outside of the group.  The foursome is adjusting to living together as a family.  Neither of these relationships are closed, both are open, meaning that everyone is allowed to date outside the group.

If you haven’t seen it yet click on this link:  Preview of Episode 1

After watching the first episode I’m conflicted about whether this show is a good idea or not.  There’s A LOT OF SEX which isn’t necessarily a bad thing … but there is a right and wrong way to do that.  It can be done in a way that is honest and tasteful or it can be like porn.  From what I’ve seen, it’s like porn.

Jane: Let’s go upstairs and have sex!

John: (smiles) Okay!

Jane 2: Yay! Sex!

The very next second everyone is naked and squirming around on the bed.  Seriously? Where’s the foreplay? Where’s the flirting? A friend of mine pointed out that Showtime’s producers probably made the decision to do it this way because sex sells.  Well, I’m a big fan of Showtime.  I loved The L Word (the first one, not “The Real L Word“) and there was so much sexual tension that you could cut it with a knife! Was there nudity? Sure.  Was it explicit sex? Yep.  But it was tasteful and hot and each sex scene meant something to the characters involved; it moved the story forward.  Another example would be The Tudors.

So, maybe you’d like to argue well this is reality TV, not scripted TV.  Fine.  Maybe my discontent comes from the fact that I don’t like reality TV but I also don’t like bad TV.  This show has a director.  It has producers, writers, directors of photography, scene artist, make-up and hair people, you get the gist.  It’s a professional endeavor.  And Showtime knows how to produce good shows.  It has a history of being edgy and provocative and it’s managed to do that without sacrificing character, plot, and content.  So, if this is the price of reality television then I wish it was entirely fictional because then it might be bearable.

On the flip side, the show does manage to do a few things successfully.  It puts a face on polyamory that has nothing to do with religion.  These people are not Mormon, like on Big Love (HBO) or Sister Wives (TLC).  It also introduces the LGBT influence.  A little known fact among monogamists is that women in this lifestyle are generally bisexual.  It is very rare to come across a straight woman who is poly.  So … kudos on that!

This Week’s Theme: Polyamory

Status

What is polyamory? Well, it’s simple.  Poly = many +  amory = loves

I’ve noticed that here are several clichés that come to mind when monogamous people are faced with this issue or phenomenon.  There’s the Mormon image – underage girls in long braids and prairie dresses.  There’s the “playboy” – the man with a harem of girls just waiting to satisfy his every sexual whim.  And then there’s, “Oh that’s just a hippie thing from the 60s and 70s.”

This happens to be a topic that I have some experience with so I’m going to do my best to present an honest picture of what contemporary polyamory is about – the good and the bad.

More specifically, the posts will attempt to answer/address these points:

  • What kind of person is attracted to this lifestyle?
  • Is it a legitimate lifestyle choice?
  • Are women being taken advantage of?
  • Cross-over with other lifestyles/communities: LGBT, BDSM, Paganism, etc.
  • Jealousy and other complications
  • The many relationship structures
  • Long term polyamory and the family
  • Acceptance in society