My first dating experience was with an easy going pagan triad (MFM). The guys involved had been best friends for years and the relationship just kind of evolved over time from friendship to poly. As I was told, his fiance/wife realized one day that there was an attraction between herself and his best friend. The three of them talked it over and decided to pursue it. She loved both men but referred to the first as her husband while his best friend was her secondary. The three of them lived together and shared responsibility of a young toddler.
While I knew from the first date that we had similar sensibilities about love and family, we didn’t spend a lot of time exploring the possibility of me joining their household. Because I also knew pretty much from the beginning that it wasn’t going to work. While I have nothing against pagans (and they were full-fledged, passionately pagan) it’s not for me. Just as most organized religions turn me off, so did this. There were other incompatibilities as well – choice in music, television, movies … which may seem like a small thing but consider how often we make reference to popular culture to get our points across. And to their credit, they were ALL on the same page there. They had their inside jokes based on this anime series or that comic book. I can’t honestly tell the difference because that’s not my scene.
But anyway … Paganism, from what I understand of it, involves worshiping more than one god. Think Greek Mythology. There’s also a strong interest in potions, teas, spells, the cycles of the moon, and that sort of thing. Not all poly people are pagans but I was asked once if there was a predominant religion within the poly community. I said, “Not really, everyone is there because they believe in love not any one religion. We don’t even talk about religion. Well, except for those of us that are pagans …”
Here is a collection of articles and blog posts that explore the intersection between both worlds.
- Poly Family = Pagan Tribe?
- “I have been polyamorous probably my whole life,” says a pagan woman. And the discussion that ensues.
- A Defense of Pagan Polyamory
- An Interview with a pagan triad.